6 letters I have in mind about LIFE, G.O.O.G.L.E

Go On Over Girls Lool Existence

Bad Day

In a world of people you don’t know, WORLD of STRANGERS… I discovered one thing!!! That, it’s not EVERY fucking day – you’re fucking overwhelmingly happy!**

I’ve had a this MISUNDERSTANDING with my brother RJ last night, after DINNER… It’s a DISCUSSION about the PUPPIES that I am selling and is recently over the ads. It’s such a lame reason! Really it is… It started out when an Alex called and inquired about the female puppy… My brother asked me how much I offered the pup… So, I said 2,5k. Cheap, right?He told me that he should have given it to the first caller who inquired to him the other day. 2,5k and take all. He even scolded me for not discussing with him the infos. It’s just that… When I do breed pups, I don’t ask for someone’s help (financially speaking) – I even give them their share after I sold one. But, he doesn’t have to yell at me and say unpleasant stuffs. I do admit it. In every success I have and every single thing I’ve gone through – they’re all a part of it… I never did spare a piece for myself… Not a single penny for myself… Call myself, “LUCKY” if I spare some for myself… But never been there… If in some consolation I’ve been… That would be two years ago, during the times that I’m still living with my Mom and my Grand Pap… I no longer stay there. I am now here with my cousins, watching over them and minding my own stuffs and biz. I’m happy here but I am happier two years ago, coz during those years – all I think about was myself… Nothing, but myself…

I can buy all the stuffs I want… TERRANOVA, DIESEL, NINE WEST, LACOSTE, GUCCI, COLE HAAN, TAG HEUER, all the stuffs that can give pleasure to a woman’s heart… All the stuffs I wanna buy…
I can dine in and out @ Starbucks, I can buy and upgrade cellphone units… I collect and buy DVD flicks at ASTROVISION… I can be places at a time… I shop at PODIUM, ROCKWELL, GREENHILLS… I can have myself done at LUCY BRITTANICO SALON or MARY PAULINE or FITNESS FIRST… Where I can see myself a lot more beautiful that I am…

But, now… All I think of is my FAMILY… They’re the only ones left for me… They’re the only ones whom I can give myself and my heart freely… But how come beyond those good things I’ve done and offered them, this will be the thing I’ll be getting in return? At least, I want to feel the lightness in heart… The feeling of being loved…

I’ve gave up everything for them… All the luxuries I could give myself before, I gave those up… I never hang on in there… But never have I been on the brighter side. BRIGHTER not in a sense of being brighter than sunshine, but brighter side of life… NEVER… I guess, this is how it feels when SOMEONE FEELS SO DOWN and CAN’T GET THEIR SELVES UP because of TOO MUCH PAIN INSIDE THEIR HEARTS… This was never easy for me… 

“I just don’t know why some people get the nerves to LAUGH about this KIND of ISSUES… Seriously, a lot of people has been destroying me… But why would I let them do that, when I myself can pull my strings and soar high and fly away…”

I guess, they’re born to be so fucking INSENSITIVE and HEARTLESS were they only care about their selves… They never considered, how others or a certain people would feel because of their actions…I just can’t seem to find the LOGIC of these things… If there’s one thing, I’m glad happened a while ago… It would be having the chance to be reunited with someone once again… After a long month of not having to hear from each other, no “hi’s” or “hello’s” there we were hours ago and honestly that felt good. For, I know that person is matured enough to understand things. Like I said from my previous entry: “I can’t let everybody love me… I can’t please everybody… All I can do for now is BE MYSELF and don’t CARE A SINGLE DAMN ABOUT WHAT OTHERS WOULD SAY AGAINST ME”

Whatever it is that people say that needs to destroys ME, it’s not me they’re destroying… It’s THEMSELVES…
Like what Rowen once quoted:
“They can keep pulling us down, but we can always soar up. That’s the spirit. Lousy and petty people just doesn’t understand what we, smart and understanding people feel”

Thanks much for that!!! That will keep me going for now…


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